Random Thought

a year ago, i adore someone bcs the way he recited the holy Quran. i adore the way he recited Ar-Rahman cs it made my soul calm. and since of that, i prayed to God, i said i wanted him.  in every corner of Medina & Mecca, i always mentioned his name in my prayer. well, i know it might looked stupid cs how can a little girl prayed for someone to be her future while she didn't exactly know who is he. but it happened to me. and even after go back home, i still always mentioned his name in my prayer cs nothing else i can do but pray and tell Him what i feel.  well, i believe His plan never goes wrong til one day, i got a news that he wanted to start a new life. it was a lil bit broke my heart, i know. but i wont force something that wasn't meant for me. maybe God has another plan for me. or maybe, he wasn't worth enough for me. well, i still believe that His plan is a best plan, ever. so i changed my prayer. if he really wasn't meant for me, i'm sincerely and totall...

Hai. It's been a long time. How are you? How was your day? Is it pretty good?  Well, im kinda miss you but i know i shouldnt. It's like i want you but you cant, so i choose to let you go cs i cant force yourself to love me. I choose to let you go not because i want to, but i should to. I just dont want to disturb you anymore. And i think i already did my best. I already tried my best to accompany you in your sadness. I already tried my best to listen all of your stories. I already tried my best to make a prove that you deserve someone better. And it's done. My duty has been done.  I think this is my time to make myself happy. I think i should focus on myself first before taking care another person. Cs at last, i just have myself thru all of my ups and downs.  So, see you! have a great day. No matter how bad your life is, i believe you can through it all. As i said before, if we are meant to be, so we will.  Best regards Nanda

i've been escape for a long time, and i need a home. i dont need anyone else, i dont need another kind of fckn business anymore, cs all i need is; you i've been too long to running & explore, to find my ownself, to find existences, and it's enough. all i need is just to take a rest, in my one & only sweetest home i dont need anyone else, cs i already got everything, when im with you. i know it still hard for you to heal, but i'll stay, i'll wait, til you realize, that i'm the only one who will be there for you, who always listen to all of your stories so, would you fight, stay, and be my last home, honey?

Do you know what the most romantic thing is? Keep and pray for each other in a silence. - I don’t know what kind of relation is this, but i’m very grateful. Im very grateful for everything that i have right now. Altho I don’t know who am i for him, but all i know is; i’m happy, and im glad to have him, as a friend. - Perhaps the most approriate word that i feel right now is; enough. Know he is fine is enough, Do a deep talk with him is enough, Have a great time to talk with him is enough, Argue and yell each other is also enough. No romantic things, no chat everytime, but i feel enough and blessed. Bcs i know no matter how hard the situation is, no matter how desperate is he, he already know what should he do. He already know the place he can calm his mind. And it makes me relieved. At least i know he already pray for the best. So, no matter how's our ending, i know that’s the best plan from God to us. If we are meant to be, there’ll be t...

terlalu terang menjadi hitam,  terlalu gelap menjadi putih terlalu menyayat untuk dipertahankan,  terlalu menyenangkan untuk ditinggalkan abu-abu, kamu tau? Yes. i don't even know who am i for you, how do you feel, what do you think about me, cause all i know is; you are fine.. (without try to understand what i really feel) are we just friend? are we in a process of getting close? or, am i just your medicine in your darkness? will i be forgotten, if you already heal? idk. this is too risky, i know.  but i still let you to come in. i open a chance for myself to getting hurt  -altho i hope it wont. well, you are too good to be true and maybe im just dreaming right now im dreaming if you'll fall in love no one knows or, should i give up?

hey, how many times you already said to yourself,  "You don't deserve it. You deserve something better. Don't cry for something unimportant." or, "Just let everything happened. There must be a rainbow after this pain. You just need to forget everything, as usual." also,  "Don't sad. It just waste your time. You deserve to be happy. Look at the outside, the other happiness is waiting for you, dude." Well, It's good to keep thinking positive, i know. It's good to think that everything will be okay. But then, there must be a day while you think, "shit. im tired to do this fckn thing. where is my rainbow? why it feels so nauseating and has no ending?"  There must be a day while you are exhausted pretending like you are strong enough to face everything by yourself, while the fact is no. and that's really not insane. It's okay, to be not okay. We are human. Sometimes, all you need is just t...